Courtesy of Mr. Luke Savage
“The weekly Ford bro-nanza has come to an end. Some highlights:
– Rob Ford is very sorry. We aren’t quite sure if that’s for 1) lying about the existence of a video he denied existed while actively seeking it out; 2) referring to the kids on his football team as “f**king minorities”‘;3) calling Justin Trudeau a “f**got”; 4) having serious substance abuse problems and refusing to acknowledge or deal with them; 5) Urinating in public. Rob Ford has nobody to blame but himself for whatever it is he’s sorry for.
– Rob Ford is going to address problems and change. To do this, he’s going to get a driver. To replace the one who, you know, has been charged with extortion by police.
– Rob Ford wants the media to stop coming to his house. He will talk to them “anywhere, anytime”. Call him and he’ll set up a meeting. Note: After the show, Rob Ford refused to speak to the media and physically pushed a Toronto Sun camera operator out of the way before fleeing the Newstalk 1010 in his Fordmobile.
– Rob Ford is reducing the size and cost of government. Rob Ford is also planning to build a subway at a cost of 300 million per kilometre and wants to hire 100 new police officers. Presumably neither of these will affect the size or cost of government. Nor will the cancellation of David Miller’s Transit City plan, which cost the city hundreds of millions of dollars.
– Last week Rob Ford called for a city worker caught allegedly sleeping to be fired along with his supervisor. It is unclear how Rob Ford reconciles this with the numerous photos of him sleeping during council and other meetings or repeatedly showing up for work late or not at all.
– Rob Ford, career politician, hates when people “play politics”. Playing politics involves doing or saying things which are contrary to or disrupt the goals of Ford or Ford Nation in any way.
– Rob Ford wants the crack video to be released by Toronto Police. That is, the one which he “hasn’t seen or does not exist”.
– Rob Ford enjoys widespread support among “the ethnics” and “The Ethnic Community” (also known as “f**king minorities”).
– Doug Ford would like Rob Ford to drink a bit less and is also sorry for what happened during Taste of the Danforth. It is unclear how he reconciles this with his statement on March 26 that “I’ve never seen Rob drink at any event. Ever.” or with his brother calling the media “pathological liars” for reporting on his public drunkenness.
– One caller was furious because he often sees “up to three” city workers planting trees by the highway. This may well be the Platonic form of the kind of concern which motivates people to vote for Rob Ford.
– The leftist big labour journalist patrician clique that is out to get the mayor and arrest his crusade to “save the city a billion dollars” now includes notably left wing institutions like the police, The National Post, his former press secretary, the Board of Trade, and the Toronto Sun.
– Another caller finds the “intellectual” style of most politicians intimidating. In contrast, she prefers his revolutionary “progressive” style of leadership which allows people to “identify with him”. Rob Ford is the Tim Hortons version of Hobbes’ Leviathan. He is sovereignty embodied. He is all of us, and none of us. Rob Ford is The People, and so can you.
– Toronto is number one in the world, up quite a few spaces from number eighteen. In what, we aren’t sure.
In sum, the Ford brothers show every indication of continuing their reign of terror. The moral and ethical character of Toronto’s mayoral administration has rotted to the core. And there isn’t much we can do about it right now, because a large number of our fellow citizens have allowed their consciences and judgement to rot along with it.”